Movie: Moron 5 and the Crying Lady

"Moron 5 and the Crying Lady" directed by Wenn DeramasI wanted to post the official synopsis of the movie, but it was too long, and too full of run on sentences, that I finally decided against it. Instead, here’s the cliff notes version of the movie’s plot:

We follow five friends, portrayed by Luis Manzano, Billy Crawford, DJ Durano, Martin Escudero and Marvin Agustin. I’m not even going to give you their names because pretty much act as one unit throughout the whole movie, with one main characteristic that gives them “identity.” Luis is the leader and the “most handsome”, Billy is the one who would do anything for food, DJ is the most stupid of the lot, Martin is the one who always finds a plot moving clue unwittingly, and Marvin is the one who is quick to anger. Aside from these “personalities” they kind of act alike: moronic. Which, I guess, makes the movie’s title very apt.

Anyway, these five friends unintentionally ruin the life of a Becky Pamintuan (John Lapus) when they accidentally reveal to her husband-to-be that she is transgendered. The husband-to-be dies of heart failure, and Becky swears vengeance on our five protagonists. Setting them up for a murder they did not commit (though, because of a sight gag, they might as well have), and then sending them to prison so they could rot for the rest of their life. Except they don’t. Because they escape and they go to extraordinary lengths to prove that they are innocent.

Now, I was on the fence on whether I was going to watch this movie or not. A second viewing of the trailer made me realize that, hey, this might not be bad at all. So I soldiered the heat and went to the nearest mall to catch the movie. After the first thirty minutes, I knew I made a mistake. I should’ve trusted my first judgment. I shouldn’t have watched the movie.

The thing is, I can’t say the movie wasn’t funny. I found myself wanting to chuckle a couple of times, both because of comedian John Lapus, whose comic timing is still impeccable. It was just that the material was so lacking, that I felt if Sweet (the handle John Lapus uses in the industry) was given free reign, his scenes might have been funnier. Aside from this, the few people who were watching with me seemed to be enjoying themselves. Heck, there was one group who kept laughing out loud at the antics of five moronic friends! So, I guess the movie was working for its target market.

And much as I don’t want to nitpick, because this is not the movie that really cares about logic or continuity, I had a lot of facepalm moments in the second half of the movie when the vengeful genius of Sweet’s character was reduced to a stereotypical villain–complete with a psychotic subplot, a sudden murderous streak, and a scheme that would make the lowliest villain shake its head at its ineffectiveness. Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that the character who was able to orchestrate the frame up of five morons were shown up by the same people he sent to prison! And don’t get me started on how they actually escaped from prison.

If you plan on watching the movie, prepare to suspend your disbelief. A lot. Heck, check in your brain at the package counter if you can. You’re not going to need it when you watch the film. I just feel really bad for Martin Escudero who had shown so much promise and potential in Zombadings. Now he’ll have this movie to bog down his resumé. Unless, you know, this movie rakes the money in, then it wouldn’t matter that it was really, really bad.

So if you’re on the fence on whether or not you should see this film, here’s my advice: watch the trailer instead. All the good parts are in it. The rest of the movie was just a waste of time.

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5 thoughts on “Movie: Moron 5 and the Crying Lady

  1. Pingback: Moron 5 and the Crying Lady « Pinoy Rebyu

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